ENTERTAINERS GUIDE TO DISABLED CUSTOMERS
Written and Edited by: William TakahashI & L.B.
Copyright 2008 by William Takahashi,
The ENTERTAINERS GUIDE TO DISABLED CUSTOMERS - PDF File
may be downloaded, printed and shared with anyone working in the Adult Industry.
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Table of Contents
- Introduction
...3
- Distinction between Disability and Handicap
..
.
..3
- Glossary of Acceptable Terms
. ..
.....5
- Etiquette with People Who Have Any Type of Disability . ...6
Etiquette with People Who Have a Specific Type of
Disability:
·
Visual Impairments
.
..
.6
·
Speech
Impairments
..7
·
Hearing
Impairments
.7
·
Mobility
Impairments
8
·
Learning
Disabilities
..8
·
Lap Dancing for
Disabled Customers
..
8
- Suggestions For Initial Contact With Someone Who
Has A Speech
or Hearing Problem .. . . ......9
-
- Attempted Interviews With Disabled People
Regarding Escorts
and
Dancers
.
.
11
Additional Reading:
- What Is Independent
Living
...
.13
- Guide/Service Dogs
.
....
..
.13
- Americans with
Disabilities Act
..
.
...14
- Book and Source List
. ......
15
INTRODUCTION
A large number of disabled people have never experienced sex in their life. This lack of physical contact produces emotional pain and suffering. The disabled have the same desires and needs as everyone else. Erotic Dancers, Escorts, and other Adult Industry Professionals can provide an alternative that can dramatically improve the lives of the disabled.
This document is intended to be a guide to help Adult Industry Professionals interact with people with disabilities in the best possible way. I will begin with a brief discussion about how people with disabilities should be viewed by the Adult Industry. I will then provide correct terminology and etiquette, which may be utilized with people who have different disabilities. This document then covers: The Art of Lap Dancing for disabled customers, first contact between escorts and disabled customers, and a section on correct sexual etiquette between escorts and disabled customers. This document concludes with a short discussion of my personal attempts to interview other disabled people regarding their experiences with escorts.
DISTINCTION
BETWEEN DISABILITY AND HANDICAP
A disability is a condition caused by an accident, trauma, genetics or disease which may limit a person's mobility, hearing, vision, speech or mental function. Some people with disabilities have more than one disability.
People with disabilities are not conditions or diseases. They are individual human beings. Therefore, in speaking or writing, it is preferable to mention the persons name before mentioning his or her condition. For example, a person is not an Epileptic, but rather a person who has Epilepsy. Likewise, print or broadcast media usually refer to People with Disabilities. First and foremost, they are people. Only secondarily do they have one or more disabling conditions.
As a dancer, you have the right to be treated with respect and kindness by ALL customers. It is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE for a disabled customer to treat a dancer in a mean, disrespectful, or abusive way. Dancers have the right to expect disabled and able-bodied customers to be clean and well groomed.
A handicap is a physical or attitudinal constraint that is imposed
upon a person, regardless of whether that person has a disability. Webster's
Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines handicap as to put at a disadvantage. EXAMPLE:
Some people with disabilities use wheelchairs.
Therefore stairs, narrow doorways and curbs are handicaps imposed upon
people with disabilities who use wheelchairs.
People with disabilities can have various disabling conditions, including:
1. Mobility impairments
2. Blindness and vision impairments
3. Deafness and hearing impairments
4. Speech and language impairments
5. Mental and learning disabilities
DEFINITIONS
The following are commonly used terms when discussing disabilities.
Blind: A general term referring to all degrees of severe vision loss. Legal blindness is a visual acuity of 20/200 or less with best correction in the better eye, or a field of 20 degrees or less.
Congenital Disability: A disability which has existed since birth, but is not necessarily hereditary. Do not use "birth defect."
Deaf: A profound hearing loss.
Hearing Impairment: A general term referring to any degree of hearing loss.
Developmental Disability: A significant mental or physical impairment which usually begins early in life and may require specialized assistance or training in basic life skills. Some examples might include: Mental retardation, Epilepsy, or Autism.
Disability: General term for a limitation that can be physical, mental, or sensory. A disability is not necessarily a handicap which limits normal life activity.
Learning Disability: A permanent condition which affects the way a person with average or above average intelligence learns and processes information, such as math concepts, i.e.: transposing numbers.
Mental illness: A condition caused by a neurological disruption in the brain. It can affect mood, thought and appetite.
Mental disability: All forms of mental illness, severe emotional disorder, or mental retardation.
Seizure: An involuntary muscular contraction, a brief impairment or loss of consciousness as the result of a neurological condition. A convulsion is a seizure involving contraction of the entire body. All of these situations are commonly associated with Epilepsy.
Small Stature: Correct term for very small people.
Spastic: Describes a muscle with sudden abnormal and involuntary spasms. This condition is commonly associated with Cerebral Palsy. It is important to remember that muscles are spastic, not people.
Speech Disorder: A condition where a person has limited ability to communicate through speech. Someone with no verbal speech capacity is called without speech. Do not use "mute."
Spinal Cord Injury: Permanent damage to the spinal cord. Quadriplegia describes substantial or total loss of function in all four limbs. Paraplegia refers to substantial or total loss of function in the lower part of the body.
Many disability groups
do not like using euphemisms to describe disabilities. They consider terms such as "partially
sighted," "handicapable,"
"mentally different," and "physically challenged"
patronizing.
GLOSSARY OF
PERFERRED TERMS
Preferable: Person with a disability.
Not Preferable: Cripple, cripples - the image conveyed is of a twisted, deformed, useless body.
When referring to a person with a disability:
Preferable: Disability, Differently-Abled, Or Disabled, a general term used for functional limitation that interferes with a person's ability, for example, to walk, hear or lift. It may refer to a physical, mental or sensory condition.
Not Preferable: Handicap, handicapped person or handicapped.
When referring to a disability:
Preferable: People with cerebral palsy, people with spinal cord injuries.
Not Preferable: Cerebral palsied, spinal cord injured, etc. Never identify people solely by their disability.
Preferable: Person who had a Spinal Cord Injury, Polio, a Stroke, etc. or a person who has Multiple Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Arthritis, etc.
Not Preferable: Victim. People with disabilities do not like to be perceived as victims.
Preferable: Person who has a disability, has a condition of (spinal bifida, etc.), or born without legs, etc, has a developmental disability.
Not Preferable: Defective, defect, deformed, vegetable, retarded, moron, idiot, afflicted with, or suffering from. These labels are offensive, dehumanizing, degrading and stigmatizing.
Not Preferable: Afflicted with, suffers from. Most people with disabilities do not regard themselves as afflicted or suffering continually.
Preferable: Deaf/hard of hearing. Deaf refers to a person who has a total loss of hearing. Hard of hearing refers to a person who has a partial loss of hearing within a range from slight to severe. Hard of hearing describes a hearing-impaired person who communicates through speaking and spear-heading, and who usually has listening and hearing abilities adequate for ordinary telephone communication. Many hard-of-hearing individuals use a hearing aid.
Not Preferable: Deaf and Dumb is as bad as it sounds. The inability to hear or speak does not indicate the level of intelligence.
Not Preferable: Confined/restricted to a wheelchair; wheelchair bound. Many people who use wheelchairs or mobility devices feel the devices are not confining, but liberating a means of getting around.
Preferable: Able-bodied; able to walk, see, hear, etc.;
people who are not disabled.
Not Preferable:
Healthy (when used to contrast with "disabled.") Healthy or normal
implies that the person with a disability is unhealthy or abnormal. Many people with disabilities have excellent
health and lead very normal lives.
Material for this
section came from: Disability Etiquette Handbook, San Antonio, Texas
ETIQUETTE WITH PEOPLE
WHO HAVE ANY TYPE OF DISABILITY
1.
When talking to a person with a disability, look at and speak to that
person directly. Treat a person who is disabled with the same respect and
consideration you would like.
2. Relax. Do not be embarrassed if you happen to use commonly accepted expressions such as See you later or Got to be running along that seem to relate to the person's disability. Avoid actions and words that suggest the person should be treated differently.
It is okay to invite a person in a wheelchair to go for a walk or to ask a blind person if he sees what you mean. When greeting a person with a visual impairment, always identify yourself and others who may be with you. EXAMPLE: On my right is Penelope Potts.
3. Do not assume a person with a disability needs your help. Always ask him/her before giving your assistance.
4. Do not shout at a person who is hard of hearing. Shouting distorts sounds accepted through hearing aids and inhibits lip reading. Do not shout at a person who is blind or visually impaired -- he or she has no problem hearing you!
5. To facilitate conversation, be prepared to offer a visual cue to a hearing impaired person or an audible cue to a vision impaired person, especially when more than one person is speaking.
6. When conversing in a group, give a vocal cue by announcing the name of the person to whom you are speaking. Speak in a normal tone of voice, indicate in advance when you will be moving from one place to another, and let it be known when the conversation is at an end.
Identify yourself when you approach
a person who is blind or visually impaired.
If a new person enters your area, introduce them. While in a group, lightly touch a persons
arm so that he or she knows you are speaking to them. When giving directions, be specific. Use terms like on your left or at your
You may have to assist people with visual impairments in orienting to new surroundings. When walking with them, tell them if they have to step up or step down, let them know if the door is to their right or left, and warn of possible hazards. When guiding a person with a visual impairment, offer your arm or elbow, and let them walk one pace behind you to follow the motion of your body.
Never move a visually impaired persons cane, chair, or other belongings without telling them. Just as sighted people orient themselves by looking around, a person who is blind listens.
Traffic sounds indicate when it is safe to cross the street. You can help by reducing non-essential noises at intersections when you notice people who are blind. If you see a person walking with a white cane or a dog guide, and he or she seems confused, or is approaching an obstacle, please offer your help. If you are not sure how you can help, see the guide below, and please, do not hesitate to ask if you are unsure.
If you think someone might need assistance, offer your help. Your
thoughtfulness will be appreciated, even if your assistance is not needed.
When guiding a person who is blind:
Offer help verbally, lightly touching an arm or shoulder to indicate you are
addressing him/her. Do not grab the person
unless there is an immediate danger. Offer
your arm to help. A person who is blind
or visually impaired can take your arm and follow a half step behind you,
gaining travel clues from your movements.
If the person has a dog guide, approach the person on his or her free
side. Slow down when approaching curbs,
stairs or revolving doors. Tell the
person what you are approaching and place their hand on the railing or handle
of the door for orientation. Explain when you are crossing a street or
entering a building. Tell him/her the street name, the direction you are walking and the
address of the building. This will help
verify, for both or you, that you are headed in the right direction and to the
correct place. Offer seating by
orienting the person to the chair's position. Place his or her hand of the back
or the arm on the chair. Announce your
departure. Never leave a blind or
visually impaired person in the middle of a street or open area.
Listen patiently. You should not complete sentences for the person unless he/she looks to you for help. DO NOT pretend you understand what the person with a speech disability is saying just to be polite. Ask the person to write a word if you're not sure of what their saying. Listen attentively, and keep your manner encouraging rather than correcting.
Exercise patience rather than
attempting to speak for a person with speech difficulty. When necessary, ask short questions that
require short answers or a nod or a shake of the head. Never pretend to understand if you are having
difficulty doing so. Repeat what you understand, or incorporate
the person's statements into each of the following questions. The person's reactions will clue you in and
guide you to understanding. If you have
difficulty communicating, be willing to repeat or rephrase a question. Open-ended questions are more appropriate
than closed-ended questions.
EXAMPLE:
Closed-ended question: You were a tax accountant in XYZ Company in the corporate planning department for seven years. What did you do there?
Open-Ended Question: Tell me about your recent position as a tax accountant?
Face people with hearing impairments when you talk to them so they can see your lips. Slow the rate at which you speak when talking to a person with a hearing impairment. Increase the level of your voice. Or, communicate by writing if necessary.
To get the attention of a person with a hearing impairment, tap the person on the shoulder or wave your hand. Look directly at the person and speak clearly, naturally and slowly to establish if the person can read lips. Not all people with hearing impairments can lip-read. For male Sex Workers keeping mustaches well-trimmed is a good idea. Those who can will rely on facial expression and other body language to help in understanding. Show consideration by placing yourself facing the light source and keeping your hands, cigarettes and food away from your mouth when speaking. Shouting won't help. Written notes are also very helpful.
MOBILITY
IMPAIRMENTS
Try sitting or crouching down to the approximate height of people in wheelchairs or scooters when you talk to them. Do not lean on a person's wheelchair unless you have his/her permission --it is their personal space. Be aware of what is accessible and not accessible to people in wheelchairs. Give a push only when asked. When talking with a person in a wheelchair for more than a few minutes, use a chair, whenever possible, in order to place yourself at the person's eye level to facilitate conversation.
LEARNING DISABILITIES
Do not assume the person is not listening just because you are getting no verbal or visual feedback. Ask him if he understands or agrees. Do not assume you have to explain everything to people with learning disabilities. They do not necessarily have a problem with general comprehension. Offer to read written material, if necessary.
Material for the
preceding section came from: EASI, c/o American Association for Higher
Education One DuPont Circle, Suite 360 Washington, D.C. 20036-1110 Phone: (310) 640-3193 (Pacific
Time) E-Mail: EASI@EDUCOM.BITNET or internet: EASI@EDUCOM.EDU
Lap Dancing for Disabled Customers
The
art of Lap Dancing for disabled customers has some very unique challenges. It is imperative to treat these customers as
normally as possible.
LAP DANCING FOR MOBILITY IMPAIRED CUSTOMERS
During
an interview with a dancer, she said:
When
I dance for a guy in a wheelchair, I ask him if he would like to move to a
chair or couch. If he is able, then we move. If he needs to remain in his
chair, I ask if he minds if I move the foot pedals out of the way. Being a
nurse, I am able to do that quickly and efficiently. I ask if he minds if I sit
in his lap. Then I dance normally. Even if he is paralyzed and can't feel a
thing, it's still visual, and he still gets to imagine what it feels like.
Another
dancer said she had danced for many wheelchair bound customers. She said:
My
experience as a nurse really helps me because I'm comfortable with them, and
put them at ease. Most importantly,
don't act uncomfortable or shy. Treat them like any other normal individual. If
they need assistance with something, they will ask for it.
We
have some wheelchair customers pretty regularly. (Just physical disabilities)
and it has brought up some interesting issues. Our stage is elevated. Customers
have to stand up to give us a tip if they want us to take it with our breasts
from their mouth (which is pretty common). Normally, we are not allowed to hang
our legs over the stage, but for someone in a wheelchair we can, in order to
take their tip. There are also stairs up to the couch dance area, which is
where nude dances are done; only topless on the floor, tableside. If a wheelchair
customer wants a nude dance, I have seen it done on the floor before because
they cannot get to the couch dance area.
Other
dancers make the recommendation that when dancing for a wheelchair bound
customer, its important to make sure his or her wheelchair breaks are on. If a
girl is dancing for a wheelchair bound man who has had a few drinks, and he has
forgotten to put his break on, it could be a very unpleasant experience.
Another
avoidable mishap is to be careful with beverages. A girl retold a story about a
dancer who accidently knocked over a drink onto a customer's wheel chair
control panel. The chair was fine, but if the liquids had actually gotten into
the electronics, it could have been very bad. This is said to emphasize the
importance of dancers being particularly careful around customers that require
specialty equipment.
LAP DANCING FOR
SPEECH IMPAIRED CUSTOMERS
Patience
is the key when dancers encounter customers that may have a severe stutter,
language problem, or a stroke, and have trouble speaking. Dancing Professionals
that I have interviewed say:
A
large number of blind customers who come to a club have some vision. One dancer
told me she danced for a blind customer who had 30% vision in one eye and 40%
vision in his other eye. So he could
still see her dance. Make sure you dance up close, no floor work as blind customers
won't be able to see you at a distance. Another dancer said its probably best
to have a mint too. Often
an impairment of one such as sight, will lead to another sense being
heightened, such as smell,
so if you've had any garlic that day the chances are they'll be able to smell
it.
LAP
DANCING FOR MENTALLY CHALLENGED/IMPAIRED CUSTOMERS
This
is a very hard topic to deal with and understand. Unlike people with physical
impairments like: Cerebral Palsy, Muscular Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, and Spinal
Cord Injuries. The Mentally Challenged/Impaired Customer may not be capable of
making informed decisions about purchases. The conscience view on Strippersweb.com
seems to favor not taking money from these customers. They can enjoy watching
you perform on stage. One dancer on Strippersweb.com wrote:
I
have mixed feelings about this, mostly having to do with money issues.
Sometimes I don't think these people are capable of making informed decisions
about purchases and are easily taken advantage of. So I don't want to take
their money.
A
dancer needs to continuously remember that every disability is different, so
you need to use your best judgment and common sense in each situation. Never
stare, and do not ask what happened to your customer. Please keep in mind they
are in a fantasy land during the dance, and are trying to have an enjoyable
experience.
INITIAL
CONTACT BETWEEN ESCORTS AND CLIENTS WITH SPEECH OR HEARING PROBLEM
One of the interesting dilemmas that happens for Escorts, and their potential clients who have a speech or hearing problem, is how does the client contact the Escort? Normally, clients would contact the worker by calling them on the phone, but what if the client cannot speak clearly? Or the client cannot hear the person talking to him/her?
There are various solutions to these issues. With the growing use of technology a person can easily access email, instant messaging or text messaging as a form of initial limited contact; If the worker has a website then he/she could indicate that disabled clients can email, instant message or text message with basic and/or very specific information, (i.e. their name, and when they will try to call the worker.). Another option is to use email to arrange a meeting time/place, but make it clear that no other details about the meeting can be discussed by email, instant messaging or text messaging. A side advantage to this practice is that it shows you how willing, and mentally able your client is at following instructions.
SEXUAL ETTIQUTE
Please remember that the disabled like anyone, enjoy and need sex. Sexuality may make some people uncomfortable,
but it is an important subject that needs to be discussed. Many disabled males love to watch female
partners slowly take off their clothes first.
Many disabled guys love to have a girl take his hand to help him touch
her in the places where she feels comfortable letting him touch. This practice helps him and gives her control
over the situation. In the appropriate
setting, many disabled guys/girls like being helped to undress before sex. Foreplay is important, some males like to
touch a girl's breasts, and some girls like to play with a man's penis. Finding the most comfortable sexual position
for the both of you is very important-- sex is a shared experience. I've noticed that lots of males, disabled and
non-disabled have an attitude that women and sex exist solely to please them. This attitude drives women away. Caring, patience, and a willingness to try
different things are very important.
Serving disabled clients in sexual
situations can be made easier by planning ahead. If your client tells you they are disabled
during a phone call to arrange an out-call appointment, you can ask the client
to shower and then just put on a robe or t-shirt and shorts. You have the right to expect disabled and
able-bodied customers to be clean and well groomed. This makes the undressing process easier for
both of you. During your appointment its o.k. for you to gently ask the client
if they need your assistance, and how can you help.
David Steinberg wrote about a
workshop on "Sex Work, Sex, and the Disabled," at the International
Conference on Prostitution in Los Angeles March 9 - 15, 1997. He says a sex surrogate described her
experiences working with a variety of disabled people. She calls on fellow sex workers to deal with
disabled clients with particular care and sensitivity, noting the work she
herself has done to become comfortable with such complexities as catheters,
urine bags, bowel comfort, and muscular spasms in a sexual context. (She learned from painful experience, she
says, not to go down on a client whose leg spasms can seriously rearrange her
jaw, or to put her breast in the mouth of a client whose spasms could equally
hurt her.) A sense of humor is important, she emphasizes, as well as some real
sexual creativity -- as when she would put an arm of a client with cerebral palsy on
her clit until she came, showing
him that he could do something for her sexually, as well as her doing something
for him. Steinberg also wrote
about an elderly gentleman at the
workshop who suffered from chronic malabsorption syndrome. This gentleman spoke
proudly about being a client of prostitutes since he was younger, and of the
"genuine love relationships" he has had with many of the women he
sees regularly.
Some of the material for the proceeding section came from: David Steinberg, "International Conference on Prostitution" COMES NATURALLY #57 Spectator Magazine - April 4, 1997
ATTEMPTED
INTERVIEWS WITH DISABLED PEOPLE REGARDING ESCORTS AND DANCERS.
I attempted to interview disabled people regarding their experiences with
escorts and dancers. Posting a well defined question on Strippersweb.com got
lots of useful replies. I tried the same idea on 5 disability message boards including
Gimp Power. My replies reveal a wide range of attitudes. In hide-site, I should
have used the term escort rather than Sexworkers-Call Girls in my question, but
people seemed to be reacting to the concept paying for sex. See below.
Myspace > GROUPS » GIMP POWER » This group is for gimps (disabled people) & anyone else that may be interested in it. It's a place to meet, learn about, hang out, chat & interact with others. It's for gimps, friends of gimps, families of gimps, & gimp attendant's who wish to communicate their thoughts & express their feelings amongst friends. Whether you have or are just involved with someone who has an injury, spina bifida, muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, an amputation, ms, blindness, deafness, ADHD, or any other physical or mental impairment, then you are welcome here. This group is an open forum for all things, whether gimp related or not. Whatever may come up is okay here. There are frank & serious topics & there are silly & insignificant topics & everthing else in between as well. Be it serious or silly, be it positive or negative, be it important or not, just post whatever you want & don't be shy. Talk about gimp things like daily living, transportation, accessibility, community barriers, caregivers, family, doctors & social interaction & talk about non gimp things too like sports, trivia, politics & entertainment. Let's just be a loving community where we can share our stories, our triumphs, our downfalls, our funny moments, our sad times & our embarressments. We can all learn from each other & support one another & hopefully change some perceptions. So c'mon in everyone & let's post!!!
MY ORIGINAL POST:
Topics » Could people help me by sharing a few experiences?
Hi, I'm putting together a presentation for adult industry
professionals and Sexworkers-Call Girls on how to interact with disabled
customers. I hope to include a few short paragraphs with suggestions for how to
lap dance for blind and wheelchair bound customers. Could people help me by
sharing a few experiences you've
had?
Some of my work is shown below:
SUGGESTIONS FOR MAKING INITIAL CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A SPEECH
OR HEARING PROBLEM.
One of the interesting dilemmas that happens for sex workers and potential
clients who have a speech or hearing problem is how does the client contact the
sex worker? Normally, clients would contact
I put in the full paragraph of
what I wrote in my posting.
SEXUAL ETIQUETTE
Please remember that the disabled like anyone, enjoy and need sex. Sexuality
may make some people uncomfortable, but it is an important subject that needs
to be discussed. Many disabled males love
I put in the full paragraph of what
I wrote in my posting.
REPLY 1: how do you figure I missed the point? Takahasi ask for our sex experiences with "sex workers" so he could put on a so-called presentation for these professional "sex workers", or was it for the "horny gimps" that ain't gettin' none unless they pay for it? Get real dude, read between the lines man. Hookers ain't gonna take time to attend no "How to screw a Gimp workshop" and the "horny gimps" already know how to take money out of their wallets and hand it to the Hookers! . Again I believe this guy is just trying to "get off" by hearing other peoples sex experiences. READ BETWEEN THE LINES MAN
REPLY 2: I was just re-reading the posters procedures of etiquette for sex with a "sex worker" and a disabled person, and dude you disgust me. All the sex I get comes free. To even think of paying for it makes me sick. Just because a person is disabled, doesn't mean we have to pay to have sex. There's enough things in society that try to bring us down, without someone even thinking that we can only have relationships if we pay for them. Like Bamb said "DUDE, GET REAL"
REPLY 3: He never said any of our constituency HAD to go to a sex worker. Some gimps actually do use their services. So do TABs. Not by force, but by choice. And making it illegal doesn't mean it's sick. In fact, legalizing prostitution might be better for public health, because then it can be regulated and monitored by state and local health departments.
REPLY 4: Wow... kinda scary to see how judgmental people can get when they don't approve of a topic.) The topic clearly WAS NOT about anybody "getting their jollies" by hearing about anyone else's sexual experiences; if that's what you thought it was about, then you completely missed the point.
This is the saddest one of all. The writer made up the quote below, put my
name on it, and then made fun of the disabled.
He also inserted my art from my MySpace page.
REPLY 5: [QUOTE]William Takahashi
wrote:
Can you guys who
frequent prostitutes and strip clubs, and gals who employ gigalos and attend
bachelorette parties, please give me some suggestions for how to lap dance for
blind and wheelchair bound customers. Could people help me by sharing a few
experiences you've had?[/QUOTE]
Well, we've never had
experiences with prostitutes or gigalos, but may have a few suggestions on how
some sex worker might perform a lap dance for a blind person. Maybe the
sex-worker can put some of those jingly balls on their hips and chest. Or try
this, Braille Dancing. It probably wouldn't work in our state though, because
of the 5 foot rule. As far as giving a lap dance to someone in a wheelchair,
why don't you instruct your sex-worker audience to treat them just like anybody
else, and give them a pat on the head.
Man, you have a great
pad there in the John Hancock Building, Kinky Krystal, wine and presents under
the Christmas tree. But you don't have any furniture. Are you going to get
freaky and do it in your chairs, on the floor or in cyber space? Watch out for
rug burns and viruses, man.[/QUOTE]
MY REPLY: I never wrote your quote! Sad, now youre making fun of the blind and making things up.
WHAT IS INDEPENDENT LIVING?
Independent living is a way of life that includes values, attitudes and behaviors. It embraces a philosophy that the person, regardless of their disability, has the potential to exercise individual self-determination. Living on your own is having the right and the opportunity to pursue a course of action. It is having the freedom to fail and to learn from one's failures, just as non-disabled people do.
Independent living means that we (the disabled) demand the same choices and control in our everyday lives that non-disabled brothers, sisters, neighbors, and friends take for granted. We want to grow up with our families, attend neighborhood schools, use the same public transportation as our peers, and work jobs that are in line with our education and abilities, and also start families of our own. Just as everybody else, we strive to be in charge of our lives, and be able to think and speak for ourselves.
BIRTH OF THE INDEPENDENT
LIVING MOVEMENT
Independent
living is the philosophy of self-empowerment for people with disabilities. Independence does not necessarily mean doing
everything for oneself and living by oneself. The concept of
Independent living was born in the early 1970's in Berkeley, California. A
handful of students with disabilities on the campus of Cal-Berkeley saw the
inaccessibility of the campus and decided to turn a wrong into a right(s), as
in disability rights. The first Independent Living Center was established in
Berkeley, and the Independent Living Movement has been growing ever since.
There are 22 Centers for Independent Living in Illinois. There are hundreds
across the United States.
One of the by-products of the Independent living philosophy is consumer control; this means consumers have direct control over the services they select. For example, a consumer who employs a Personal Assistant is the boss in the employer-employee relationship. As in any work environment, it is the employer's responsibility to direct his/her employee.
Myths and Attitudes:
Disabled people should stay and live with their own kind. Forced segregation creates an artificial barrier which makes disabled people uncomfortable and hesitant to interact with the able-bodied world. It creates an environment of learned helplessness" in which the disabled start to believe that they are not capable of managing their own lives. Some parents encourage this learned helplessness by doing everything for their adult child. The adult child's world is rosy until the parents pass away. Then the disabled adult children are left alone, not knowing how to take care of themselves. The best way to combat this problem is for you to learn how to manage your own life and involve yourself in activities with non-disabled people.
GUIDE/SERVICE
DOGS
Many people with visual or mobility impairments use guide dogs to help them compensate for their disabilities. These dogs are workers, not pets, and they have jobs to do. Always ask permission before you interact with someone's dog. Do not pet the dog or divert its attention from its work. Please speak first to the person. It is correct human and canine manners!
Do not touch either the service animal/service dog or its person without first asking permission. Touching the service animal/service dog might distract it from its work. Touching the person might be interpreted as assault. Resist the temptation to offer treats to the service animal/service dog. Barking, meowing, whistling, and making other rude noises at the service animal/service dog. Conversing with the person about the service animal/service dog, disabilities, and other animals you have known is appropriate.
Questions of a personal nature
should be avoided. If the person
volunteers information, you may decide if you wish to continue the
conversation. Do not feel offended if the person declines to talk about
himself/herself or the service animal/service dog - not everyone wants to be a
walking "show and tell" exhibit.
WHAT IF YOU ARE AFRAID/DO NOT LIKE DOGS?
Place yourself away from the service
animal/service dog. If you are a
business person, discreetly arrange for someone else to wait on the
person. You may ask the person to have
the service animal/service dog lie down if it does not interfere with its
work.
WHAT IF THE SERVICE ANIMALS ACTS OUT OF MANNER?
Find out what happened before taking action. Was the service animal/service dog stepped on, poked, asleep and dreaming, performing its job (some alert their owners to oncoming seizures by barking once or twice)? If the animal's/dog's behavior is disruptive or destructive, you may ask the person to remove it from the premises.
WHAT IF OTHERS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SERVICE ANIMAL?
Explain
that the service animal/service dog is medically necessary and that federal law
protects the right of the person to be accompanied by the service
animal/service dog in public places.
AMERICANS
WITH DISABILITIES ACT
The Americans with Disabilities Act was signed into law on July 26, 1990. The purpose of the Act is to:
Provide clear and comprehensive national mandate to end discrimination against individuals with disabilities.
Provide enforceable standards addressing discrimination against individuals with disabilities.
Ensure that the federal government plays a central role in enforcing these standards on behalf of individuals with disabilities.
The term disability is defined as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of a person's major life activities, a record of such impairment, or being regarded as having such an impairment. This is the same definition used in Sections 503 and 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the Fair Housing Amendments Act.
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) gives people with disabilities civil rights protection that is like that provided to individuals on the basis of race, sex, national origin and religion. It guarantees equal opportunity for individuals with disabilities in:
Employment
Public Accommodations
Transportation
State and Local Government Services
Telecommunications
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, this paper is meant
to be a guide for Adult Industry Professionals to better interact with disabled clients. It outlines how to interact with clients who
have a variety of disabilities.
Hopefully, it will serve as a useful resource and tool for the Adult
Industry and people with disabilities alike.
David Steinberg is the author/editor of The Erotic Impulse: Honoring the Sensual Self, Erotic by Nature: A Celebration of Life, of Love, and of Our Wonderful Bodies; Father journal: Five Years of Awakening to Fatherhood; Beneath This Calm Exterior; Welcome, Brothers; If I Knew the Way...; Yellow Brick Road; and Doing Your Own School. He is a columnist and features writer for Spectator magazine.
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Copyright 2008 by William Takahashi, no portion of this document can be copied and resold without written permission.
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